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Throw Back: "Tabitha, Meet Kathy Indermill"

from July 29th, 2013

Originally written and published by me, Tabitha Bigbee, on July 29th, 2013. I wanted to post this throw back to the Tabitha in 2013 and share with you in her words in that time how the coaching I experienced with Kathy impacted my life. It's been a journey of practice since then, but I think you'll see that the benefit was immediate.

Have you ever met some one that changes your world? I have. A friend dear to both of us gave me Kathy's contact info saying "...she's a writer too and might be able to give you some pointers." Understatement of the year.

So I called. Didn't know what I was going to say other than, "Hey! I'm Tabitha! Beth says we should talk." Which for some might have ended in awkward silence - not so with Kathy, no so. During that first call she got right down to business and organized our whole conversation asking me to introduce myself, define my expectations of knowing her, and then listen to a brief explanation of who she is and what she does. She proceeded to share with me about how her experiences as an entrepreneur, as a spiritual searcher, and a life adviser and counselor. Enter Kathy Indermill. It is still difficult for me to explain who she is and all the things that she does. Here is my summary:

Sage and philosopher offering enlightened guidance in our human experience, a veteran entrepreneur sharing tools to succeed through self exploration and transformation.

About which Kathy may say something modest like, "That description is terribly grandiose, I simply share what I've learned with people who need it." Which makes her even more fantastic.

She asked me to define my expectation of meeting her. I didn't know how to answer it at first so I just stopped thinking for a second and asked myself how I felt about it. I was hoping to receive any possible advice for my business from some one with experience and wisdom. BAM that's exactly what I got. In that first conversation she offered to work with me to gain clarity on my goals, coach me through the things that might be holding me back, and encourage me to live freely through self examination. I got an "intake" form to fill out and we set up a date. (Filling out forms about myself are fun because I know all the answers.)

During that first phone call she mentioned the power of focusing on what I DO want instead focusing on what I DO NOT want. Defining completely and in great detail what it is that I want to be doing. She said we attract what we focus on...which makes dwelling on what we don't want counter-active to our goals.

So I used the app in my phone and started talking out loud to clearly define for myself exactly what I DO want.

A beach, a dog, and working when and where I want. That's all I need.

Fast forward to our first session. Kathy had me close my eyes and visualize all those things that I had clearly defined for myself that I DID WANT and just think about them. After I opened my eyes she asked one question: Why don't you have that?

Which seems like an easy question to answer but I was all, "Uuuhhhhhhh..."

Turns out that we set up these rules for ourselves about how to live our lives. Through every experience in life we've come up with these rules that at some point made sense and helped us in our world. Well, sometimes those rules aren't truly helpful. Other times they've served their purpose and need to be let go - sometimes they were developed in misconception and need to be let go because they've never been helpful rules.

This changes everything. Because I am an experienced perfectionist I have a lot of rules. In that session Kathy led me through a process of identifying the rules that are preventing me from living the life I truly want to live. The best part? I didn't get in "trouble" for having these rules. She actually asked me to explain to her how these rules have blessed my life. Yeah. I mean, who does that? Such a loving way to release limitation. In fact she encouraged me as I began to identify where and when I applied the old rules to my life to just notice that the rules popped up " bubbles just floating away from you." Why? To avoid self punishment. There is nothing WRONG or BAD about any feeling, rule, or thought. It's how I respond that can lead to challenges. By just noticing a thought or feeling and letting it float away I don't expend energy disciplining myself for having the's just goes away. Now I'm free to live up to my greatest potential.

In the time that followed (even in the next hour) I found myself identifying the old rules in my thought processes. I was able to giggle at myself and let them float away.

And then the obvious happened. All the things I clearly defined for my life STARTED TO HAPPEN. I started signing clients for Tabitha Tweaks THE SAME WEEK. Of course at first I'm all WHAT HOW IS THIS HAPPENING IT'S AMAZING...except that I'm all OH DUH OF COURSE because I had asked for it. I had taken the steps to allow myself to accomplish the life I truly want to live.

This process looks different for everyone of course, but a huge part for me is praying for quick identification of those limiting thoughts. Basically asking, "Hey can you please make me super aware of when I'm allowing myself to limit the gifts I've been given?"

Kathy reinforced that we are created with such incredible abilities, and that it's all in there waiting to be use. However there have been boulders dropped into the streams of our lives that block the flow and we've got to get those out in order to move forward. Kathy isn't my boulder lifter - that would be too simple. Kathy equipped me with tools to lift my own boulders.

There are other situations in my life that I would love to see happen. I'm clearly defining for myself what I want. I'm asking myself what's holding me back from them. Which means I should expect some change in the next week or so.

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